Monday, October 15, 2012

Acceptance in Relationship

This is a post written out of anger, but I feel like I need to write about this.

A friend of mine BBM-ed me yesterday, asking me how I lose weight (my weight is the kind that yoyos a lot, so I often lose weight (and gaining it back on again), which is probably why she thought of me as the weight lose expert -_-). I poked a joke at how she already looks like a stick, and asked her why she'd wanna lose anymore weight, because she's not even plump, let alone overweight. What she told me kind of breaks my heart.

"Well, my boyfriend has been hinting that he'd like me to be thinner"

Kind of angry, I asked her what else did her boyfriend comment about her looks? And turns out that he has A LOT to say about how she looks. Her hair-cut is outdated, her hair color is the wrong shade, her hair length is all wrong, what she wears is not suitable to the image that he'd like his girlfriends to portray.


Honestly, I feel like choking the guy.

First of all, if you're THAT shallow, and you consider appearance of a great importance, I don't understand why you'd date someone whose appearance you don't fancy in the first place?

Second of all, how dare you objectify girls, making them seem like they're just an object, which you can bend and mold to your will and preference? That's sickening. And how dare you make them feel inferior just because they don't meet your shallow expectations. HOW DARE YOU.

I really feel that in a relationship, acceptance is important. I feel like in a relationship everybody should be able to be themselves, instead of their partner's version of perfect. That can't be healthy. Relationships should be WAY past appearance anyway.

I'd probably kind of understand if it were "I think you'd be much prettier if you dress less provocatively"  (Though, I don't really like subtlety like that, because it makes me feel like I'm being manipulated), because it has deeper reason than just vanity, but for someone to just simply say "you're not appealing enough. Here's a list of what I want you to be. Be it", just infuriate me!!!

Now, I've learnt my lesson in meddling in my friends' business, and I know that whenever I meddle, even though it's done out of love, it never ends well. So, instead of telling her to grow a back bone, and give her boyfriend a piece of her mind, I just told her that she looks perfect as she is, and that she's beautiful inside out, and not to let anyone tell her any different.(I know that's still kind of meddling, but that's the least meddling I can do. I can't just stand by and do nothing).

I really hope, that she realizes how perfect she already is. And whoever reading this, that shares the same experience that my friend does, I hope you do too.


  1. Agree whole heartedly. Acceptance is VERY important in a relationship, and if you just don't accept someone all through their flaws, skins and bones, then don't waste the other person's (or better yet, yours) time. Find someone who'd suit your dream lover image perfectly.

    Sadly, I've been in that kind of relationship where I (blindly and stupidly, now that I think of it) care too much of what my so-called significant other thought about me. The best thing is, he even DARED to proudly announce that I evolved into a pretty swan from an ugly duckling because of HIM. That's just ridiculous, and due to this kind of nonsense-ness he portrays each and every coming day, we're off now.

    Anyway, sorry for such a long comment. Happened to stumble across your blog. Nice one, by the way! :)


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