Tuesday, August 17, 2010

wants and needs.


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I'm Sati Sekar.

I'm 24.

And i still don't know what i want to do in life.

I studied architecture for 4 years, and have been a junior architect for almost a year now, and i have the skills needed to work in the field. But that is not what I want to do in life. and i'm quite certain of it.

I do not want to spend my life doing things that do not make me contented and happy inside. However, i am aware that i need to make a living.

I want to be able to spend my time with my loved ones. I want to live my life. not just to exist.

I want to wake up in the morning(not feeling like P.Diddy hahaha.) without that dreading feeling that, oh man, i have to leave my happy place to go somewhere i dont want to be, to be able to make a living, to be able to just exist.

because, really, what is the point?

I want to wake up in the morning, feeling happy, and contented.

I want to be able to make a lot out of myself, instead of being drained for the things I dont want to be doing.

I want to read, I want to learn a lot, I want to make my own clothes, I want to grow my own vegetables, make my own butter, hatch my own eggs, bake my own cookies and bread, make my own jam and marmite, make my own syrup.

I want to spend the lovely afternoon sitting by the window, reading books, the wind blowing softly, the sun-ray coming through the window.

I want to be able to offer my kids warm lemonade when its raining cats and dogs outside of the window.

I want to be able to help them with their homework, and cuddle with them and watch horror movie once they're done.

I want to spontaneously dance the chicken dance with them for no reasons at all.

I want to greet my husband with a smile on my face, and hot home-made dinner, and being able to listen about his day. Instead of flopping down on the sofa with him, both exhausted from work, barely having any energy left, to even talk.

I want to tuck my kids in, and read them bed time stories, and once they're grown up, i want to be a part of their lives. I want to be someone they know will always be there for them.

I want to detach myself from that huge clinging needs of money. and just be happy and LIVE, not just exist.

I think being able to do all those things would be so wonderful.

I'm Sati Sekar.

I'm 24.

I want to do all those things i have said above.

I need to start figuring out how to be able to do that.

6 comments:

  1. No horror movies!!

    hehe. let me worry about the money k dear.. oh wait.. i dont worry.. so lets just be merry :p

    ReplyDelete
  2. realllyyyyyyyyy?? you'd do that?

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm Kuna

    I'm 24.

    And i still don't know what i want to do in life.

    T_T*sigh*

    aku br sedar dowh...tsk tsk tsk...

    ReplyDelete

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