Wednesday, July 21, 2010

that feeling.

I'm sorry blog readers(if there's any haha) I'm affraid I'm becoming increasingly self-centered that this blog only serves as some sort of self reminder of things God made me see/feel at a certain time. hehe. maybe someday I'll write something amusing again. you can go here for interesting pieces to read. (warning: lots of words, little to no pictures, requires thinking). ok.

So, the other day, Alhamdulillah, God made me feel soo at peace, and MasyaAllah, it is so wonderful, and beautiful. I don't quite know how to put it in writing, but if i were in front of you i would probably make silly sounds like "haaaaaaaaaa" and "weeeee" to describe it(yes, trust ska to ruin it)(-_-"). I've never been high before, but i think, MAYBE, it is some kind of a high, only more, more beautiful and peaceful. (haih. susahnya nak explain. hahaha)

So, anyway, the feeling lasted for a day or two, and then, it is gone again. and of course, being me, i found something to blame it on other than myself.

and i blamed it on kelalaian(negligence).

I've been so caught up, and upset over this trait of human who is always so lalai (negligent), that makes me always end up somewhere not close to God.(and hence, far away from that peaceful feeling i had trouble explaining about just now).

But today, Alhamdulillah, God had granted me this understanding that, kelalaian is not only a trait in human being. it is also a small,small, dugaan(trial) in life. and just like other trials, we have to fight it.

And of-course being away from God, i've sinned more than when i am close to Him, and being me, again, I am all caught up and upset over it, but today, AGAIN, God made me see something (on Facebook, His guidance is everywhere) that soothed me. He is the MOST MERCIFUL.

He said: "My Lord! Verily, I have wronged myself, so forgive me." Then
He forgave him. Verily, He is the Oft-Forgiving, the Most Merciful..16:surah al-qasas.

and so here i am, a humble slave, counting her blessings, and asking for His forgiveness, hoping to someday, be so close to Him, that negligence is not in her TOP list of trial.( though come to think of it, I should be grateful that negligence is the one at the top of my list of trial, not something worse. *scolds self for being ungrateful*. but then again God is the most merciful, and He will not try us with something we can not handle.)


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