Monday, March 22, 2010

unhealthy obsession

so i went to a Japanese bufet at Equatorial hotel last Sunday and the spread was amazing. well, not in the sense of variety, its pretty much the same in that sense, u know, sushis, sashimis, tenpuras and such, tapi it tasted better than most of Japanese buffets i've been to.

and the first thought that came to mind was "Adem would love this" and i started making mental notes to take him here nanti once he's back in Malaysia, then i realized while chewing on my mushi maki ebi, "well, this is unhealthy(not the food. the thought.)"

my life has always revolved around him, and he's always, always on my mind all the time. when im eating something nice, when im designing my room, when i came across some funny quotes, when im watching a good movie, when im cynical about something, when i see rainbows and rain drops and morning dew, when i hear birds chirping, every time. i always think "i wish i get to share it with him". kalau its the angau phase of the 1st to 6th month of the relationship takpe lagi. ni dah almost 5 years.

im not trying to be mushy, but i think my soul(ke brain ke heart ke whatever the heck it is yang always makes me think of him) must be connected with his since im always thinking about him, subconsciously and consciously. and i can say that it is really unhealthy. to have such connection, i can bet it is going to hurt to break it. now, im not saying that im planning to break up with him, or see it in near future, but you just never know. things that are too good to be true are bound to mess up(im being pessimistic, tapi its not said "TOO good to be true" for nothing dont you think?).

and when it happens, it is going to kill me.

ok. must stop unhealthy obsession towards Adam.

Now, how do the heck do i do that? oh, i know. i'll just write "dont think about Adam" on my palm. oh wait, that is just going to get me thinking about him.

oh well, im screwed. (-_-")

thank you Adam for putting me in this state. boo you.

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