Thursday, December 31, 2009

dear boyfriend,

hey baby, i bet ur still touring freaking europe.

i miss you so much you have no idea. its been all mellow and gloomy since u left, and i feel so hollow inside.(which proves how we're each other's half. u took half of me with u.)

its been 4 years and im still insanely in love with you. :) im still thinking about u every 5 seconds. im still doodling your name at work. i still get all excited getting a text from you.

you're everything to me. my bestfriend, my lover, the one i cling on to, the one i swear and shout at, the one i laugh and cry with.

i love our private jokes.

i love our lame arguments over sunflower's existance(or anything equally as lame).

i love how u always have answers to my questions.

i love how u wink at me when u think no one is looking.

i love the way u treat me like im the only one that matters.

i love the way u lie to my face when u tell me im the most beautiful girl u've ever met (its sweet sayang, but come on!!)

i love the way ur always on my side.

i love how you love me unconditionally.

i love it that ur just on the border of being sickeningly sweet and at the same time on the border of being sickeningly obnoxious.

i love how on days that i hate myself u always find excuses for me not to.

i love it it that i find myself admiring you not just because ur my boyfriend, but because ur so awesome.

i love the way we can snigger and be all cynical about the same thing.

i love how u dont care about silly things most people care about.

i love how u are so sure of yourself without being cocky.

i love your wisdom, your intelligence and logic.(though i hate it when u use it against me)

most of all, i love how i find myself loving you.

love you.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009


lihat above.

colourful bukan?

completely drool inducing bukan?

ia bukan merely ice-cream. ia adalah frozen yougurt.

sweet, sour, creamy, cold frozen yougurt. *salivating*

tapi my toppings would be chocolate balls, peach, and orange jelly.

kenapa malaysia takde?



Saturday, December 26, 2009



seriously, the saying does not go

"if you cant beat them, be just like them, do whatever they do exactly how they do it"

it goes

"if you cant beat them, join them"

whats wrong with u?

oh no wait, on second thought, i'd rather u not join me, i'd rather u try to be just like me in the shadows, secretly envying me and copying my every move like u always do.

** i dont usually lash out in blogs.its just that i lost my diary which embarrassingly enough i just read again today. ha-ha. and im very hormonal. and my bf is traveling all across europe while im here brain dead. awesome.

Friday, December 18, 2009

from my fb note : "on religion, believes, faith and hatred."

**the topic is rather sensitive but I think it a pity that it’s a taboo. I really think we should at least talk about it.

When I was in turkey, we visited this monastery for nuns at Bursa. It was no longer in use and it was turned into an open air museum. The location itself was fascinating. It’s a natural rock formation called the Fairy Chimney (please google it up), which, more or less, is like clusters of caves in which people used to live.

Locations aside, as it was a monastery – or a nunnery, sure enough dalam tu ada like banyak gila abandoned churches, which did not look even a little like churches, more like a cave with inscriptions in it which was used by these nuns to pray.

So anyway, we went into one of those churches while our tour guide explained the details of the inscriptions and who drew it and the whys and hows. One of the fact, which architecture students may have learned in their 1st semester- Gothic cathedrals chapter, is that the plan of a church is usually of a crucifix form, kalau French more elongated cross, kalau English more equal legged cross(or the other way around. Tak ingat dah).

Then, I noticed that one of the pakcik in my group started to bounce up and down at the ball of his feet. I had to wonder “dia ni kenapa? too much sugar ke apa?”

When he met my questioning eyes, he explained sheepishly, “ni cross” then stamped his feet several times on the floor like he was stepping on it.

My jaw dropped.

Pakcik, seriously?

I really think that was low. And not to mention uncalled for. Why would he want to do that?
Yes, I get it we’re Muslims. Perhaps you a more devoted one than me. But it certainly does not mean we get a free pass for disrespecting other people’s religions and believes.

What if people did the same to what we consider as sacred in our religion? Treating it with disrespect, ridicule it and worse, stamping their feet on it?

I wrote about someone who stops prejudice in my last note, and people, this is how prejudice is started. This kind of thinking spreads easily (I should know, my little sister – having made friends with this pakcik and not knowing any better – followed his suit stamping her ignorant feet on the floor).People who didn’t know any better spreads it to equally clueless people who spreads it to brawns with no brains, and the cycle never ends. The next thing you know, people with different religions and believes starts hating each other. And war starts.

Ladies and gentlemen, from my perspective, believing and having faith in one’s religion does not connote disrespectful behavior towards other believes. Nor does it mean hateful treatments towards different religion believers.

For one, God explains in holy Quran that he caused the different nations with different beliefs only for them to compete in doing good deeds that bring them closer to God, but not to stay in conflict or hatred. Quran says:
"... If Allah had willed, He would have made you one nation (one belief), but that may test you in what He has given you; so compete in good deeds; then God will inform you about that in which you used to differ" [Quran, chapter 5, verse 48]

Plus, it is stated in holy Qur’an that we shalt not hate
"There is no compulsion in religion..."[Quran, Chapter 2, Verse 256]

And on top of that, check out Quran, chapter 60/ verse 8
" God does not forbid you from showing kindness and dealing justly with those who have not fought you about religion and have not driven you out of your homes. God loves just dealers."

So, really, think deep.

what’s our excuse?


kebahagiaan yang sementara.

yesterday, i received an e-mail from the University of Nottingham that says


Dear Miss Sekar Kinanthi

Congratulations on your recent offer to study here at The University of Nottingham. We would like to welcome you to the first International Office newsletter of the year. These newsletters are designed to keep you up-to-date with all the information you need for your journey to Nottingham.
We look forward to welcoming you to the University next year."

so i pun jumped up and down round and round la kan. TETAPI. i thought, wait, bila masa "im recently offered a place at the uni" pun? so i check punya check punya check, my application is not complete yet sebab the documents i submitted to them tak sent lagi.

and true enough pagi tadi dapat another e-mail that says;

"Dear Miss Sati Sekar Kinanthi,

Very many thanks for your recent application to The University of Nottingham and for considering us as one of your postgraduate choices for further study.

We are contacting you as an email newsletter was sent yesterday in error to some of our current applicants - if you received this newsletter, please disregard the information congratulating you on your offer of admission from The University of Nottingham. A decision regarding the outcome of your application has not yet been made."


bongok. hahaha.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

yes ma'am

so i had to go to a meeting at the ministry of education. and i found myself feeling all inferior to all these old ministry worker. i have no clue why. i just do.

So anyway, the meeting was all about this new school my firm is designing, and basically, every change we made, be it design wise or m&e or c&s (u get the point) must be approved by the ministry board for financial purposes. I was there with my supervisor, and he had to, be all puan this puan that, u know be all polite to her(even wth the sneering slimebags being all kerek and cracking super lame uncalled-for jokes to him) because her approval means kesenangan hidup for all of us dan berjalannya projek dan kemampuan untuk membaca dan menulis bagi kanak kanak around that area (haha). tapi tak dapat pun, so we had to go to a VO meeting explaining to bunch lions why the cost for building increased, while the lions bites our innocent lambs' heads off.

this kind of demeanor eerily reminded me of a certain someone. a certain someone i know so well who has power dalam the ministry. i've always wondered why he always acts all superrior to org
org around him. and after seeing the way these people at the ministry acted during the meeting i started to see why.

they are used to being yes-ed all the time.(no, make that yes ma'am-ed/sir-ed.) so they are feeling all mighty tighty about it. they are used to getting their way.

ah.. and there i was, thinking being an architect is super cool. tsk. yeah right.

that is it. my new resolution. i wanna be yes ma'am-ed all the time. regardless of whether the yes ma'am-ed proffesion makes me rich or not, cool or not, or famous or not. hahaha.

bow down and kiss the ring!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Facebook stuff ppl do that i cant quite get.(read: annoy me)

1. persistent peoples who keep on adding you though you've ignored him/her several times.

2. people whom you've never spoken to in your life and whose names you do not know who adds you.

3. status that says "good morning" with 63 or so comments saying good morning back.

4. comments that says "thanks for the add". like what the hell does that suppose to mean?? newsflash: British Council does excellent English programme.

5. Screen names like "Almari Biru" or something as pointless.(at least my lame screen name dulu ada my name).

6. said name above combined with equally pointless picture of say, football player, cartoon characters and such.

7. ppl wth point 5 and 6 who puts their profile on private who adds u up. how the hell can you tell diorg tu sapa?

8. comments like "tumpang lalu". seriously, maksudnya apa???? intention menulis such word tu apaa? is it like seret code of freemason movements that i dont know ke apa?

9. new ppl (whom u do not know) on facebook who adds you up... with an accompanying message that says : hi, im new in fb and i wanna make new fwenz, sbb tu sy add awak. **or something like that.

10. ppl who write abt stuffs above( eg: moi).so, i prolly annoy u. ngeh.

Monday, December 7, 2009

duct tape over my mouth

i have a lot to say/write.

But, but, but. im soo incredibly busy (im supposed to be writing meeting minutes AND coming up with a car park design as we speak).

what a pity. and its about racial/religious differences too. haish. i was looking forward to taking in many many perspective on that matter.

one of these days i'd just quit being an architect, and become an author (ceh! baru 3 hari kerja nak bising)


so nanti lah ye?

this post is super pointless. but then again thats the point. ngeh.

Thursday, November 19, 2009


some people can be really annoying.

like an itch that u cant quite scratch.

like a fly that u cant quite swat.

like an eyesore that u cant quite ignore.

like a constant knocking on ur door.

like a font that goes Up AnD DOwN.

like multiple Zs behind the noun.

like a question left unanswered.

like strings of hanging word.


Tuesday, November 10, 2009

dear Sketch Up

I know we dont see eye to eye most of the time.

i click on edge, u select surface.

i move, u rotate.

almost every time its crucial to get my job done as soon as possible, u get stuck.

oleh itu, sila lah hang sampai esok pagi.

like i care.

good night.

Monday, November 9, 2009

simple bliss

do u know the feeling when ur grateful of everything u have?

i do.

well, today i went to my uni to get refference letters from my lecturers. it was raining cats and dogs, and naturally i got drenched. dahla kena panjat tangga batu caves to get to where i needed to go. umbrellas proved to be useless against the pounding rain.

so i got drenched from head to toe. dripping, i went to my friend's studio while waiting for the lecturer to call me. studio was really chilly because, as the norm is, the studio air cond was on full blast. and i have to tell u wet clingy clothes and shoes are on my top list of "uncomfortable" stuff. (yeah, surpassing being in a room with a bitter ex.)

in my wet, super chilled clothes, i went to see Dr Norhati(thanks a lot ma'am!! :)), and got my letters, only to have to face the rain and thousands of little puddles again on the way back to the car.

on top of everything else, i was stuck in a traffic jam. and i couldnt turn off the car's air cond because my car - bless her - is very old, and will fog up easily, so there i was, stuck in a trafic jam, in dripping wet clothes and shoes, in a car which temperature was equivalent to the inside of a fridge.

my teeth was basically chitter chatterin.

when i got home an hour or so later, i just concluded, that all in all it was a hard day.

then i took a piping hot shower, put on my warm PJs, and made myself a hot mug of tea.

and you know what? something magical happened, with the sound of pounding rain outside, and me warm and dry inside, im grateful of what i had to go through. because, it made me totally happy of what i have. even if it exist in the form of access to hot water and dry clothes and a roof over my head.

im very grateful that i had to go through what i went through because at the end of the day, God made me see that i took a lot of things for granted.

and that this is a simple bliss that i will try not to take for granted. :)

Love u Allah. :)

Sunday, November 8, 2009

let there be light

i lost 4 years worth of my architectural works. and that is a biiiiiig problemo because i need 'em for my portfolio(hey it rhymes).

so i thought if i had "other artworks" folder to spice it up it'd be great. but, but, but. i suck in painting, and i have already sketched 2 human sketches. so, i thought, hey lets make something out of a recycled material.

and so here it is, a lamp shade i made out of PVC pipe.

rather proud of it <3

Saturday, November 7, 2009

no pain no gain

ah.. my blog is les pathetique. tres les pathetique.

hahaha. the last time i wrote was like 2 mths ago. anyway, ive been sooo busy. not that busy. im just a nerve wrack. so to bring you up to date. so i scored big time in IELTS ( i swear its all God's doing. the questions semua i can relate to..). got my portfolio done. got a job. with a really nice boss. got my essay done. sent my application for scholarship. so the only thing left to do is well, portfolio to be sent for universities. and personal statement.

so here we go. checklist again.

-reference letter
-scholarship application/essay

-artwork for portfolio
-buat lampu.
-personal statement.
-scan dissertation.

ok. quite a lot. need to work again.

go!!! go!! go!!!

Sunday, October 4, 2009


i cannot feriking write the essayyyy. im just so constantly worried that id sound like a bimbo trying to string two words together, or a schmuck sounding like a schmuck. help.


ok my head is rather in a jumble state right now. i can see my brain twisting and knotting all weirdly. i have one too many concerns n i cant seem to figure out which to solve first. so maybe writing a check list is a good solution. here goes.


-scoring big time in IELTS test to impress scholarship bodies.

-writing a killer scholarship essays to ensure getting an interview.

-portfolio to be sent to universities AND other firms.

-to get a job so that i dont get kicked out of the country.


-start writing scholarship essay also to sharpen writing skills for IELTS

-Study IELTS namely; writing charts essay and reading

-re-designing portfolio.(ONLY 3 DAYS PER

-send applications to unis.

-send applications for job interviews. preferably firm architecture yang cikai.

-maybe start volunteering for environmental stuff so my portfolio looks impressive.

-stop facebooking.

- stop being stagnant.

excellent. now start!!!

Friday, October 2, 2009

Calvin Klein building; a sketch up.

i cool gila. hahha. (im just living up to my "conceited" advertisement)

this is a project i did way back. when i was so into minimalist architecture(still am).

i love calvin klein's design. he's not into ruffles n that kinda riff raff. just simple classic cuts with some accentuations. and this is how i interpret just that.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

i love my phone.

it may come off as weird. but ince when have i been normal?

i have been using my phone for a while now. 2 yrs or so. n i saw a phone yang well, looks better. so anyway, i decided to buy it. and you know what? i feel so guilt stricken.

my old phone has been with me through ups and down. i think it has atleast half my soul in it.

chop- i was feeling down, n i was feeling in need of TLC from my Adam(i was calling his name dalam hati hoping that telepathy works) and poof! he baru je called. wow. talk about intuition.

so anyway. the phone has so much of my soul that i feel parting with it is gonna be so painful. so this is what i decided. im keeping my old phone in use just for contacting my bf. n the new phone to contact the rest of you. i just cant bear to even think of letting my phone go.

i love it so much, im gonna name her. she looks like an Abigail to me. so Abigail it is.

Abigail, dont you worry. im still gonna take a good care of u. im gonna make sure a lot of love(and maybe swear words during fights) flows trough you.

i love you Abigail.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

cute guys and jeans shop


me n my mother were in KLCC shopping for some stuff for my dad's birthday. long story short, i sauntered into GAP looking for jeans(for myself. sheesh talk ab
out self indulged).

well, there was this really boyishly cute guy(re:adam, ur way cuter. dont worry) working there. he came over and asked me whether he could do anything for me(in my mind i screamed "plenty!!!" heehee), and so he was my sales assistant for the day.

i told him i was looking for jeans. and
as. u know, im not fat or anything like that, but it was just after Raya and due to a very fine gastronomical holiday in Indonesia im bloated like a dead fish. so it is no surprise at all that the question caught me off guard.

i hesitated for a moment, and told him my size. and then, it was his turn to hesitate. oh my god. i swear it was the longest 3 seconds ever. he eyed me suspiciously. like he was thinking how can someone like me have such a gigantic err.. behind. he handed me a couple of jeans. and i went into the fitting room to try them on. it was loose. so i went out of the
fitting room, told him rather smugly that it was loose. and left. i dont think i can come in and tell him the diameter of my ass again.

so, let this be a lesson to clothes retailer worldwide. do not let any cute guys work in your shop, or u'll lose a not-that-fat-just-pretty-bloated customer like me.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

boy matter

boys are very readable. n im optimistic to the point of foolish to think that they would prove me n my assumptions wrong. boo them.

long distance relationship

i was one of those people yang enjoy earth shattering romance. text messages, long phone calls. so i definly freaked when my BF got a place in Manchester uni. AND a scholarship to boost. so yeah, he definly WAS going to go.

one week leading to the final day, i have daily nervous break down. my cell phone is so tear drenched the color bertukar. i was so sure i cant make it through the first month. and sure enough as my bf boarded the plane, i literally counted down the 14 hours. and man, was it hard.

but u know what? i guess our relationship is stronger than i can ever imagine. i suppose, somehow(really, i do not know how), our relationship is built on trust. i trust him, and he trusts me too(or maybe he's just being a guy n tak kisah about it). im completely fine with the fact that he's not here. im secure with the thought that i can trust him and that when the day comes, we will be together juga, because it is what we have decided, and all we have to do is stick to it.

i dont think i can find orang lain yang as smart,funny and kind as him who can put up with my crappiness, brattiness, moodiness and still spoill me, so i might as well stick with him. (ha-ha)

so on that lame-o-supremo note, id like to finish this note. till then ta.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

this is life

ever since my plane touched down di indonesia. this is what ihave been doing

-getting a massage.

aaahhhhhh.. this is more like itttt!!!

im very very very very gratefulllll.

u know i think it is the sucky part of life yang will make us thankful of the simplest pleasure of life. for some, im sure makan-shopping-urut, is just a norm. but for moi, its a great pleasure in life. therefore, im glad i have a sucky part of life because the simplest things make me happy. im not very hard to please. so, here's to a wonderful week of makan-urut-shopping. cheers.


internet (dan makanan)adalah kebahagiaan.

omg. im in jogja right now. i have been absent from the dunia maya for what, 3 days.. and i already have withdrawal syndrome. my fingers cnt sit still. n i keep on seeing red little square with little numbers in it. hahahahaha

n now finally dapat access to intrenet. woohoo. i have been shopping and eating local delicacies (which are the absolute bestttttttestestest) non-stop, n still, i cant take my mind off the Internet, and i have short attention span.

saya cinta internet.

this blog sangatlah crappy. and i sound like a bimbo. and a snob. must stop now.


p.s: adem suck big time. boo!

Friday, September 18, 2009


like im supposed to be packing. i'll be leaving for jogja in 4 hrs. but internet is just too much of a pull. booo.

Jogja is like the best city ever!! the people are super friendly and nice(hope they still are when they hear my malaysian accent- note to self:speak english at all time-), great great food, cheap shopping places(if u dont get ripped), and most importantly, i feel at home. my whole extended family is there. hope adam was as well. im rambling. i should be packing. Ta.

Thursday, September 17, 2009


here we go. yes i have stated that i despise blogging to the core. but heck, my boyfriend's away, im unemployed, not studying, have the faintest hope of getting a scholarship, will likely to be kicked out of the country unless i find a job/institution before the year ends. oh plus im fat. and broke. haha. so whats another ke pathetic-an in my life right? and writing totally gives me ze buzz i need. it can be like one of those art therapy.

so be hold. ska's blog. totaly cumbersome. uninspired crap of a literature piece. *yippeee*

i miss my adam.

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